Inspirational Blog

See you on the other side

I turn 42 today, with a couple of pounds above my normal weight, a new wrinkle when I smile, and a whole lot of stories to share. I am familiar with disappointment, injustice, unfulfilled desires, and a life dictated by societal rules. I walked as a programmed robot through a part of my life and just emulated everything I had heard or seen, because that was all I knew. Today, I want to share with you my year-long reflections on transformation, peace, and happiness.

You see, here’s the thing: there is nothing wrong with living life as we know it; what I believe is wrong is to do it without asking ourselves if that is what we want or makes us happy and fulfilled, or if we are only following the path designed for us as if there is no way out. Are we supposed to never question a decision and to live unhappy for the rest of our lives because we would rather settle for and not take a chance on a different life and definition of happiness and success? I needed to try, and so I did.

One day I dared to challenge these concepts of life, stability, and fulfillment, and that’s when everything fell apart. That day, hell just began for me because my eyes were now open and I was able to see that there was more to what I had been told, and the questioning just got louder. I didn’t want to turn everybody’s world upside down, but I was drowning in dreams, expectations, and thoughts of a different journey as a mom, entrepreneur, partner, and human. I had done everything right, and yet I was unfulfilled and sad.

This past year has taught me that there are at least two reasons why we don’t question the rules and standards we live by: one, it just doesn’t cross our minds; we are blind and will die blind; and two, it is too scary, and we would rather not face it. So I wondered, How did progress ever happen in this world? The answer was simple: progress happens through the ones willing to question rules and standards, but most of all, through the ones willing to be crazy and abnormal enough to stand to the pressure of criticism, judgement, poverty, and despair—the ones willing to lose it all and redefine paths and behaviors.

Yes, I wanted to be one of them and not one of the normal ones, so for the past 5 years I have been the rebel, fighting consistency, tradition, economics, family, and church in order to figure out what it takes to really live this life and make something valuable of it on my own terms. It has cost me a lot, from tears to money to friends and family, but it has all been worth it, for I have discovered and created value for myself, and I have made it my mission to help others do the same.

From the age of 37 to 42, through constant questioning of rules and standards, I transformed to be a conscious parent, a loving and inspiring partner, a winemaker, a writer, a content creator, and a certified life coach, all of these only by using the power behind the words people used to bring me down: different and non-conformist, by challenging life itself. I made it count for myself; despite the criticism and pain, I was courageous and resilient, but I had help.

I have taken this road of questioning and transforming for me and for you, and this year I have reflected upon what it takes, just in case you are willing to risk it someday. This is what happens when you challenge the status quo of your own life:

  • Longtime friends and family will bail out on you when you start changing
  • Loyalty will end when convenience starts
  • You will feel lonely and misunderstood
  • Most days, you will want to quit and go back to safety
  • You will go back and question your new decision

But hang in there. Here are a few thoughts and actions that saved my life and kept me going:

  • Your children are worth your transformation
  • It is OK not to please everybody
  • Never stop learning and evolving; there is more to you than you know
  • Surround yourself with like-minded people; there are more of us out there
  • Get yourself a coach or a therapist to figure out your blockages and limiting beliefs
  • READ a LOT
  • Love is the answer to it all

And that is it. A new year has gone by, and I can proudly say that I finally got home. I feel proud, I feel inspired, I feel strong, I love me, I love my life, and I get to decide what I believe and what not to believe. I am FREE, still learning, but FREE, and as I celebrate it today with my loved ones, I wish the same for you.

I hope to see you on the other side. I will be waiting for you with a glass of my wine, @lowawines, and a heart full of scars, love, and hope. Cheers to life!

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