As I came back from a reflection moment, this came to me, I have been working so hard in my life to always be better, change, transform, and move forward without realizing that the best I could do was stay still. As I write this, I am practicing to slow down and reverse the effect of wanting to change, as if I were broken all the time and I was putting pieces together in a rush.
I realize I do things fast because I don’t want to go through the pain of thinking about them too much. I trust my intuition, but trusting doesn’t exactly mean the same as following my intuition—the right one, not the one that comes from pursuit but rather from inner wisdom and deep reflection.I cannot remember when I started wanting or when I began telling myself I had to get better and better, but as I look back, I can clearly see I was missing acceptance. Without acceptance, intuition might be misread, leading to frustration.
The reason I never felt things were good enough as they were lies in the painful fact that I didn’t give myself time to evaluate and accept myself; therefore, following my intuition was a race to the next best thing, and making things happen for me instead of trusting that the best would come just made me exhausted.
I am making a stop today to evaluate what parts of me I accept and which ones I want to work on, but most importantly, why I want to work on them. So far, this might be the biggest aha moment in my life, and it only came when I silenced my own voice and instead of trusting my mind, I gave the unconscious some space to come to the surface and really whisper to me the next step.
Sharing my progress is like journaling but for everyone out there. My voice has been silenced by myself, and my soul finds comfort in speaking to others, as if my mission is just to live and share my life experience with others to connect and grow—no big fuzz, no big recognition, just connect with other souls.